Insomnia

*sigh* it is 3:15 AM and here I sit, wide awake. I am not even remotely sleepy.

I don't know when, or if, I am ever going to get out of this insomniac phase. I thought I had it bad before, but since my hysterectomy, they said one of the symptoms I would have to deal with due to hormone loss is insomnia.

I don't know how I am even functioning at this point, it has been so long since I was actually able to fall asleep before 3 or 4 in the morning. I am cranky and easily irritated during the day, and by 4 in the afternoon I am a zombie.

However by the time diner is done, I am wide awake and ready to go all night long.

My doctor gave me sleeping pills, the only problem is...they don't make me sleepy.

She gave me new pills, they make me mildy tired, it still takes me forever to fall asleep, and then I have horrible, graphic nightmares and wake up every hour or so all night long, so I dont't wake up feeling like I have slept, I wake up feeling like I have been hit by a train.

I wish it would cool off a little, I think if I was able to get a little more excercise I would be more sleepy in the evening. But it is too dang hot to be outside. I can't go to the gym because my kids are too old for the child care room, and too young to be left to their own devices, and too young to be allowed in the excersize room.

I am stuck.

And I am so tired, I just want to sleeeeeeep.