Parenthood

Sometimes the hardest part of being a parent, is actually being a parent.


I am perfectly willing to admit that I am a softie. I have a really hard time disciplining my children because I hate to see them unhappy. But there are times when I am willing to let punishment slide a little, and times when I have to step up to the plate, be a good parent, and make the punishment stick because the safety of my children depends on it.

And my children seem determined to test my will here lately.

All three of my children spent the last week grounded from friends. We bought them airsoft guns when a local dealer went out of business and was clearancing the pistols for $1 each. We thought they would be fun to take up camping and shoot cans etc. We spent an entire weekend lecturing them on gun safety, don't ever point a gun at something you don't intend to kill, not even a toy gun, not even a bb gun, not even if it's "Not even loaded". B even showed them how you can shoot a bullet (aka BB) from an "Unloaded" gun (Boy you should have seen the shocked looks on their faces when he took the clip out and then fired a BB). We thought we had sufficiently made our point and that the boys would be responsible with their guns.

The next day, while I was in the shower, their friends came over to play. My boys "Just wanted to show them our guns" and snuck them out of the house. We had told them in no uncertain terms that these guns weren't for play, and you don't use them at home, ONLY camping, or when you go somewhere with dad to shoot them!

Well, apparently they weren't as convinced as we thought and they took the guns out and proceeded to shoot at each other and their friends. Let me tell you how fun it is to have your shower interupted by an irate mother banging on your front door to tell you that your son shot her son in the neck with a BB gun.

So I made my child go to two different neighbors and appologize. I was mortified! I was angry, no, I was FURIOUS! The boys lost their guns, and they were grounded from friends for a week.

Yesterday was their first day being ungrounded and I cautioned the boys to show me that they were capable of making good choices, because all evidence lately was to the contrary.



I had walked up the street to try to return a friend's book and as I walked home I watched this boy, my youngest off spring hop on his scooter and head down the hill. I then noticed that his two siblings and several of their friends were standing in a front yard across the street and instantly I knew what was going to happen, he was going to whip across the street without looking. He does it ALL THE TIME, and I am constantly lecturing him about it.

I started by calling his name, which he blithely ignored. I yelled louder, he didn't even look back. I then SCREAMED his name as a red jeep rolled past me on the street, and then froze in horror as he jumped off the sidewalk and crossed RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE JEEP!

Luck was with me, if I had not been standing on that sidewalk, if I had not SCREAMED his name, and the Jeep driver had not heard me scream and slam on his brakes before K even left the sidewalk, I am convinced he would have hit my son. As it was, there was less than three feet between my child and the front bumper of that jeep. I think my heart literally stopped beating for several seconds there as I stood there with my hand clamped over my mouth, and my eyes squeezed shut waiting for the sound of the impact of Jeep and boy.

My son, after glancing at the jeep with a shocked look on his face yelled "Sorry" and continued on across the street to his waiting friends. I yelled at him to "GET HIS BUTT HOME....NOW!!!!" and was totally dumbfounded when he couldn't even figure out why he was in trouble, he said sorry, like it was no big deal. I tried to explain to him how scary that was, that he could be DEAD right now, or at the very least in the hospital with broken bones and traumatic injury.

I tried to convey to him the severity of his actions and I am afraid to say he still doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that I could be planning his funeral today, that by sheer LUCK he walked away from this....again.

Several years ago, he rode his bike out into the road right in front of my friend's car. She came so very close to hitting him and was so upset when she pulled into my driveway that she was shaking so hard she could barely stand.

This child has no respect for rules, he has no appreciation for his own life and how fragile it is.


While I, his mother, am hyper aware. Maybe at one point in my life I would have believed that a child dying is some obscure thing that happens to some other person, a stranger, some friend of a friend of a friend. But I have had it brought very clear to me that children die, that accidents happen and that, though you never believe it will happen to you, it can, and it does!

That mothers plan funerals, and bury children, and spend the rest of their lives grieving and hurting. That every life is precious, and every second is a gift.

Someone please tell me how to make my child understand this. Because for the life of me, I can't figure it out.

I've lost one daughter, and a niece, and a cousin, and I know that does not exempt me from future loss. It only makes me so much more aware of the cost of the loss of a life.

So here I sit with a nine year old boy who is grounded to the yard, because I can't trust him to be responsible once he leaves it. Who is whining because none of his friends want to play here, they want to play at their house, and he has no one to play with whine whine whine. My response? I love you too much to unground you at this point pal. I love you too much to let you be careless with your life. I need you to be grounded until you can demonstrate to me that you understand how serious your mistake was, until you can be miserable enough that next time, you will THINK.

I don't know what to do about him. I'm scared.

Wax Museum

For K's book report this term they did a wax museum. What this means is that he had to choose a "Person" to do his book report on, then he had to have all the pertinent information displayed on his poster board and he had to dress like the character he was doing his report on.


We kind of goofed and did it on Orville and Wilbur Wright. It was a real dilema for him, did he want to be the brother with the mustache, or the brother with the cool hat?

Ultimately he chose the hat, because it's SOOOO much easier for mom to make him a hat than it would be to cut a mustache out of felt and tape it to his lip *eyeroll*. I ended up gluing two paper plates together (Because we are cheap and buy the really flimsy kind) and then cut the center out and glued a paper bowl inside, then a paint job and TADAAAA! Genuine, artificial bowler hat!

I thought he made a mighty dashing Wilbur Wright, don't you agree?

While I was standing outside the boys bathroom waiting for him to bring his suit out to me so that I could hang it up, I spent a little time checking out their class bulletin board. They had made a quilt out of poems and it wasn't hard to find K's poem at all! I totally cracked up when I read this. Apparently my dad is a polite, but bossy, sleepy head =0P

Jump Rope For Heart

Friday was our "Jump Rope for Heart" day at school. The kids got pledges to raise money for the Heart Association.


They had several stations, they could jumprope, shoot hoops, hula hoop, or play four square. The kids had a lot of fun, and all for a good cause.

Freedom Isn't Free

Freedom isn't free! It's the title of K's school program. His final performance was tonight. I feel very blessed to have been a part of this, and while I have seen the program probably 30 times, it still makes me emotional, especially today of all days.

(K's part..."First written for grown ups in 1892, now said by kids country wide, please join us in saying the Pledge of Allegiance, and remember, we say it with pride!")

Today is the one year anniversary of my grandfather's passing, a wound that hasn't healed yet, and I feel like this program was a tribute to him.


I am so proud of K, standing up there in Ally's Marine Corps Cammies, looking so handsome. Singing the Star Spangled Banner at the top of his lungs and knowing what it stands for.


Seeing children hold up the Air Force flag, in Air Force Uniforms, knowing my grandpa is watching this program from the other side and knowing that he knows he is always in our thoughts. Seeing them sing the Marine Corps song and watching with proud tears in my eyes as my niece stands at attention.


Patriotic songs have always been emotionally powerful for me. I have such a deep love for my country, for my veterans, and for the children that are this country's future.

*Edited to add, if you are wondering about his hair style change, these pictures were taken at two different performances =0P