Sunday, July 20, 2008

Ruminating on Jon and Kate

Jon and Kate plus eight. It's a train wreck in the making or a mega hit, depending on how you look at it.

I am torn. I like the show, I mean...those kids are CUTE!
And the family dynamic...well, ok, I have see better but we can't all be the Cleavers right?

Kate makes me feel better. I had three babies, only three, and I was too scared to leave my house for years. I give them props for getting those kids out of the house. I had to enlist the aid of ten extra people every time we left home to go to the zoo. We used to drop the kids off at my parent's house to go grocery shopping.

People are really critical and say a bunch of crap but I say, until you have been there, keep it to yourself. I only had three and I couldn't swing it, I am impressed with their capability.

People are especially critical of Kate. Yeah, she doesn't always show her bright and shiny side but you know what? When I listen to her snap at Jon, I hear myself in my memories. I snapped at B all the time, I sounded much like Kate and you know what? When you aren't stressed and overwhelmed, you don't snap, so give her a break, she has a lot on her plate...just sayin'.

So Kate, keep plugging girl, but remember, eventually you are going to run out of people who are willing to subject themselves to abuse, so be nice to Jodi. I don't want to believe the rummors, but I kinda do, and Jodi was cool. She has loads of patience and she loves your kids almost as much as you do. Some day the kids will be more independant and life will stop feeling like you are stuck in the middle of a never ending Tornado. Well, at least until they are teenagers =0P

Also wanted to add, because I just thought of it.
I was also the laundry freak. I was always freaking out when my kids got dirty. Know that I am older and wiser and my kids are older...I realize that it wasn't about the laundry at all. Yeah, doing laundry for all of those kids is overwhelming, but it wasn't about the laundry.

It's all about the impression. As a mom who felt like I was in way over my head with three babies who were constantly sick etc, I felt like I was failing at being a mom so I did everything I could to maintain the image that I was in control. That meant my children had to be spotless at all times. They weren't allowed to get dirty while playing, they couldn't spill food on their clothes or I would get really upset because then someone might notice that I wasn't the perfect parent who had it all together.

As my children have aged I have relaxed my standards a little. My kids are allowed to get dirty from time to time (Yes, it still bugs me, but I have realized you just can't win some battles) and that no one is going to look at me and instantly know that I am not the perfect mom if my son has been playing in the sand and has dirt on his shirt.

Life it too short, and there is too little time to get wrapped up in the little things. Choose bigger battles, let the little ones go.