Friday, September 19, 2008

The Boob Tube- And no, I am not talking about your sports bra!

I have a really short attention span and don't stick with any one thing for long. I hate to watch tv because I am far too impatient for commercials. I hate sit-coms because I hate having to wait a week to find out what happens next. I hate reality shows because #1 they bore me to tears (except for America's got Talent) and #2 I hate the looooong drawn out way they do things. Someone got voted off, just spit it out already, don't stand there absolutely silent with the doom and gloom background music playing just to finally say "We'll find out after this commercial break" It seriously makes me want to slap someone.

Because of these issues, I only watch things that I have tivo'd because then I can fast forward through all the crap. Take last nights' America's Got Talent for instance. I think I only watched maybe three minutes of the whole half hour. I listened long enough to find out who was voted off, that's it. The whole rest of the show was crap.

There are only a handful of shows I actually watch.
#1 Fave- America's Got Talent
I love Piers, so I always listen to his comments and fast forward through the other two. It's always the same thing. Piers tells it like it is, if they suck, he says so, if they are good, the lets them know, if they need to work on something, he is the one to tell you. So the comments generally go like this...

Piers- I'm telling you the truth, I am the only one who is going to be honest and tell you how you really rank in this competition despite the fact that the entire audience boos every time I open my mouth.

Sharon- I am going to flatter you and tell you how glorious you are Dahling, because no one should ever have to hear they are not, in fact, the greatest talent on earth. So your screeching rendition of that song left me with permanent hearing loss, it's ok, you were fabulous and I LOVE you Misses! I am just going to vote EVERYONE into the finals. Including the creepy man with the whacked out teeth that dry humped the wall in his audition, he was very entertaining and I LOVED him dahling!

David- Well heck, I'm a total idiot that wouldn't know talent from a sharp poke with a stick, but I can jump all over and do my really tacky dance moves in my chair, and I can yell and shout about how wonderful you are, although nothing I say really makes sense and I'm a moron. I'm just here because no one else would do it.

So there you have it, you know my real feelings.
Piers...LOVE HIM her too but get really sick of her flattery and telling everyone how wonderful they are even when they suck, seriously, you do NOT have to make up for Piers!
David...can't stand him, he gives me the creeps, and he is dumber than a post.

#2 Fave- Grey's Anatomy although I think it would me much better if they got rid of Meredith. Seriously NO ONE can have that many issues and still be functional. And she whines waaaaay too much.

#3 Fave- Desperate Housewives- Lynette became my hero the day she pulled the van over and made the kids get out. LOVE HER!

#4 Fave- Jon and Kate Plus Eight- Ok, it drives me nuts that she says "But it's ARE life" in the opening sequence but I am drawn to this show like a rubber necker to a train wreck. I keep saying I'm not going to watch it anymore, but then I do.

I also love all medical shows. Trauma Life in the ER, Code Blue, Medical Mystery...all of those. I am not sure why, I have just always loved them. I don't tivo the medical shows though, and I really should because maybe then I could shut the TV off at night and go to sleep instead of having to stay up to "See if he makes it" *sigh*


em's scrapbag said...

I seldom watch t.v. To many other wonderful things I would rather spend my time on.

Robyn said...

hehe, your list makes me laugh. I am a tv junkie. Sorta. I was until we got rid of the dish. But now we have this computer thing that we can DVR our regular tv. That'll be great. Fall shows are starting. :D