Sunday, January 18, 2009

Warning! Big whiney rant ahead

I am so sick of my life!

When I was a little girl I wanted to grow up to be three things; #1 A mom (Boy I sure had a rosey, unrealistic idea of what motherhood meant), #2 A teacher and #3 a nurse.

Well, here I am, all grown up and I am two of the three, a Mother, and a teacher.

But what I never counted on growing up to be, above anything else, was a slave.

That is my main job description, general slave. No matter where I go, I am charged with picking up everyone else's slack.

At work, I am given the jobs that no one else wants, and most of the time I don't complain, but I hate hate HATE recess duty and I am not above whining to get out of it.

At home, I am completely taken for granted. I am the one expected to do everything while everyone else kicks back and relaxes because THEY had a hard day, or they're tired, or sick, or bored, or restless, the list can go on and one.

Why is it my job to do everything? Why am I the one in charge of making the world go around? Why am I the only one capable of putting a dish in the dishwasher? Why am I the only one capable of cleaning the bathrooms, scrubbing toilets, sweeping kitchens, dusting furniture, putting the miscellaneous papers away that are accumulated in life, why am I the only one capable of doing ANYTHING????

And why is it that if I beg for help I am ignored, if I command, I am screamed at and called names and told I am mean and horrible, and why if I break down and throw a fit and DEMAND that someone help me, I am told I am bitchy and crabby and being a jerk???

Why is it so much to ask for someone to be responsible for themselves around here?

If you are in charge of the laundry, then DO IT! Don't sort the laundry into piles that you leave there for weeks, and assume your job is done! Actually wash it, dry it, and put it away, and don't get mad at me if I pick up all your scattered piles and put them back in the hamper after I get sick of walking on clothing for a week. If you are going to go around telling the whole world YOU do the laundry, then don't assume that just sorting it into piles constitutes "Doing the laundry".

If you are going to cook, try not to use every dish, pan, pot, and tray in the dang house. Don't leave piles of crumbs or food all over the counters, at least be kind enough to semi clean up after yourself. If you use the grill, clean it up and put it away, don't leave it there for three weeks.

If you play games, put them away when you're done, takes two seconds, it won't kill you.

DO NOT leave your matchbox cars on the stairs!!!!!

Shut the blasted door!

Take two seconds to check your pants pockets before you drop them in the middle of the hallway and claim that they are in the laundry. I am sick and tired of pulling all of your toys, receipts, change, etc. out of your pockets.

When you are done with your homework, put it back in the folder and back in your backpack, don't leave it all over the table.

When I ask you to pick up your toys that are spread all over the living room, pick up ALL of them, not just the first one or two you happen across. Don't scream at me and call me names, you know you aren't supposed to play in there in the first place, please play in your room, or the family room. I need at least one room that doesn't make me feel humiliated when surprise company drops by, is that so much to ask?

HANG YOUR FREAKIN COAT UP! Or at least take it to your bedroom. My furniture is not your coat rack! I am sick to death of tripping over coats, backpacks, and shoes!!!!

When you actually do what you are supposed to, and take your shoes off at the door, don't put them on top of MY shoes. I really hate going to put my shoes on and #1 having to wipe them off first because they are covered in water and salt, and #2 putting my foot into a sopping wet shoe because all the snow has melted off of your shoe and dripped down into mine.

When you come home from work and drop your gargantuan lunch bag on the counter, after you empty it out, set it in the corner where it goes, it doesn't take any effort at all and it saves me from wanting to kill you. Rinse your dang dishes out so that I don't have to die from the stench when I go to put it in the dishwasher because you couldn't be bothered, even though you had to walk right past it to get to the sink.

Don't expect me to drop everything and make out with you. I am already irritated with you because you dumped your wet coat on my chair, and left your dang lunchbox on the counter and your dirty dish in the sink, not to mention the opened bills on the table and your muddy shoes on the kitchen floor instead of the shoe tray.

When you are done with your cereal and dump the last little bit down the drain, turn the water on and flip the disposal on for a second. Rotting cereal and spoiled milk spell really unpleasant, and dried milk is a pain to scrub out of the sink.

You know, I could go on forever, but I have moved from anger to tears now. I feel defeated and abused. I am tired of being called mean, and bitchy simply for asking over and over and over and over and over and over and over for people to do the simple little things for themselves that would make my life so much simpler.

I'm tired too, I had a hard day too, I have MANY other things I would rather be doing that cleaning up everyone else's messes. All I ask is for a little help, I don't want you to spend your whole life cleaning, or doing chores, just put your dish in the dishwasher, put your coat and backpack in your bedroom, keep your toys out of the living room.

I'm not asking for a kidney, just courtesy.


Wingnut said...

{{{{hugs}}}} I so feel your pain! I have had similar thoughts running through my head. No answers for you though, unfortunately. Hang in there.

Candice said...

Hugs! I know how you feel! It's tiring, isn't it? I do have one idea... I use this for my kids. If they leave their coat, backpack, or shoes in the wrong place, I have them come and get them and they get to pick up that whole room. It works pretty good for my kids. Good luck! Someday maybe you will wish to trip over their trucks again. ;) Maybe not... but I try to think of things like that. Someday I will miss their little stuff. Love ya!

mean mom productions said...

{{hugs}}Sounds like you need to come visit my blog for the true meaning of mean mom. Seriously slide on over and get a different perspective on the words.
Boy, do I relate to everything you are currently dealing with. It took me getting sick with double ear infection and an a uti (not yet confirmed with a test but systems are there doctor treating both) for my DH to slam his foot down with our kids. He told them clean up or forget any thing from now on.

I had that kind week at work then our new director at work made some changes. Everyone else is happy but two teachers. At least they are friends and they get to work together with someone. so here is some more {{{hugs}}}.

I hope this encourages you a bunch.

The Yeates said...

it will end soon enough.. they will go to school, missions, get married and live some where else... and you will miss them. Treat your self to a day of pampering you will feel better... ps see if you can find a love and logic class someplace... I think every parent should take it at least once

Denise said...

((HUGS)) I know how you feel. Except my messes are from my wonderful DH...I can't imagine my house if he lived here alone. I don't even want to think about it!!

Billy Bob Bambino Bombabious Baby the Third said...

Do you ever think that the purpose of life is to suffer? No, I'm serious. The Koreans do. Life sucks. All you want to do is make it, keep your head down, and maybe (MAYBE) make things a little better along your way. But there's opposition on all sides... Every effort seems frustrated and/or frustrating. I either face a huge amount of external opposition or an overwhelming internal lack of talent and ability. And the beat goes on...

I have come to understand two things: 1. External opposition never matters. There's nothing we can do about it anyway. It will always be there and is meant to wear us down and mold us into the kind of people the Lord would have us be. So we just need to roll with it.

2. The only thing we can do about how much this life sucks is change our own attitudes. I know this is an overly used phrase and it's tired and trite. First, never give up. There is a goal that is worthy and desireable, so keep yourself focused on that goal. Don't get too mired down in the day-to-day struggles to lose hope. Next, look at what really matters. Yes, the crumbs and the laundry and the wet shoes are important. But in the eternal scheme of things there is a more patient road we might take. Because that road is what makes us powerful - the choice to act rather than react, the choice to take power and do something (or not), the mental strength and fortitude to move on... Yes, my spouse does things that make me crazy, but the crazy trip is mine to take. And frankly, I don't want anyone to have that power over me...

You know I am rooting for you. You're not alone (obviously!). And have faith - God will not allow any good deed go unrewarded. Pure gold does not fear the refiner's fire. You, mon ami, are pure gold.

craftwithme said...

I sure love you! If I were your kid, I'd put my backpack away AND put my dish in the sink!

**MIGNONNE** said...

I can empathize with you. It is tough isn't it? I hope that you perk up, it hurts me to hear you feeling down. I truly hope things get better.

Anonymous said...

i just stumbled upon your blog, and i LOVE your vent. (i do not have a blog, i was merely browsing for fellow quilters.) i am a new mom and it is hard enough time trying to adjust to caring for someone so tiny without having to constantly be cleaning after someone else who is fully capable of doing it themselves...of course i mean my husband. i feel the same way you do about begging for help and coming across as a bitch. it is unfair for anyone to put the sole responsibility of the house on one person. that being said, i think you deserve this. . if this link does not work, search youtube for "the mom song".