And the worst mom award goes to....

Man, I swear, I don't know where my brain has gone, but it has gone somewhere far far away. I forget things, I space things off I get confused. I hope it is just grief and a severe lack of sleep catching up with me and that a little rest will restore my mental capacity, otherwise I am in BIG trouble!

So Monday I had a sub job. I get to work, log in, get my key and go to my classroom and the door is open. Hmmmmmmm I go in and set my purse under my desk and the teacher's laptop is sitting open and running on the desk. Hmmmmmm The bell rings so I go out to get the kids and the teacher is standing there.

Oh great, what did I do?

Well, I decide I must have written the wrong day down when I got the call and it is supposed to be TOMORROW (aka tuesday) that I am supposed to sub for her.

Ok, grab my bag and head back home.

Yesterday, went to work, all went well. The boys come home from school and they have homework to do and Valentine boxes to decorate so we get that going.

I come down stairs and PF comes down and asks me to find batteries for his camera so he can take it to scouts with him. They are going on a field trip to the Police Station. He has been looking forward to this for two months. It's all he talks about, he tells everyone he sees. He is SO EXCITED!

So we get batteries in his camera, I download his pictures and delete his card so he has plenty of room for all those amazing police station pictures.

I say "K, it's 6:15 you need to get your shoes on and get ready to go!"

PF starts freakin out yelling "HURRY MOM! We're late!"

I say "Dude, Scouts doesn't start until 6:30"

He says "Mom, it starts at 6:00 today for the field trip"

I go running up the stairs and guess what? He's right, Scouts was at 6:00. I grab the phone to call his scout master to see if I can just meet them there, I couldnt' just go because I didn't know how to get to the station they were going to. But sadly the phone just rang and rang, no answer.

PF was heartbroken. He ran down the hall, threw himself on his bed and just cried. I rubbed his back and told him how sorry I was, I messed up, I didn't realize it started early tonight and it is my fault he couldn't go.

I felt like a big steamy pile of cow dung. He has been looking forward to this for so long, my little man who dreams of growing up to be a cop, he even carries plastic handcuffs on his belt, and plans to name his police dog Bullet. And me, his big dork of a mom, I blew it!

Fast forward to this morning, there is a storm coming and I asked the kids to help me clean up garbage that has blown into our yard due to recent heavy winds. The little neighbor boy comes running up and says "Are you way excited for tonight???"

PF says "Why, what's tonight?"

Neighbor boy says "Man, we get to go to the cop station!"

Me "WHAT????????"

I go flying into the house and sure enough, I am an dork, I looked at the calendar wrong AGAIN! (Did I mention that when I showed up for the sub job on the wrong day I thought I had put it on the calendar wrong? Ummmm yeah, it was on their right, I just need to learn how to read a calendar apparently).

Sure enough, scouts is TODAY!!! Horay, I run out and tell PF that he gets to go afterall, he is jumping up and down, SO happy.

Yeah, here comes the bad part. It is a blizzard outside. As in BLIZZARD! You can't even see across the street. There is no way I can put my baby in a car with someone else. I just can't do it. People die in accidents in weather like this. If it was just down the street, that would be one thing, but it is clear across town (Why? Why do they have to go to the one clear across town? There has to be ten police stations between here and there, why can't they go to one a little closer?)

So anyway, my poor dude, he's not going. It's going to suck when I tell him. He is going to be devestated all over again, and once again, it will be all my fault.

Some day I hope he understands that I kept him home because as much as I know that he loves all things Police, I love him ten times more and I just can't risk him being hurt by letting him go out in weather like this. I just can't do it.

Poor dude, I really don't want to have to tell him =0(