Lessons Learned

Yesterday I learned something. Actually I think it was something I already knew, but was reminded of yesterday.

I went to the funeral of a dear friend's mother. Now I know from years of experience with this friend that her mother was no saint. My friend was often frustrated with her mother about something. As was her sister. And both were angry with the step-father for the quality of care given to their mother during her extended illness.

But yesterday, during the funeral, both spoke so loviningly of their mother, they highlighted her good attributes, jokes about some of her quirks, and were overall very grateful for a lifetime spent with this woman.

Both paid tribute to their step-father and the devotion and care shown to his wife, their mother, over the years.

It reminded me that we all make mistakes, we all do things we aren't proud of, and we all make people upset sometimes, but if we were to die tomorrow, people wouldn't gather on our sofas in our living room and talk about all the mistakes and misdeeds. They talk about the things they loved most. The happy memories, and the good times.

It gives me hope that someday my kids are going to remember the nights around the table playing board games and not the mornings when I got frustrated and yelled at them because they moved at a snails pace getting ready for school.

They will remember the camping trips, not me "forcing" them to do their homework when they wanted to be outside with the neighbor kids.

I want my kids to remember how much I loved them, not all the times I got frustrated, lost my patience, or just needed them to leave me alone for a little while.

I hope I leave them with enough happy memories to see them through.