Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Hard Lessons Learned

Sometimes being a mom is hard.

Sometimes it's all about sitting back, and letting your child learn a lesson, even though you know it will hurt, and they will be disappointed.

After my recent ranting, I have decided it is time to let my children take on some responsibility for themselves. I can't come to the rescue for the rest of their lives, they are going to have to learn sooner or later that, in the end, they are the only one responsible.

I am tired of being blamed every time something goes wrong in someone's life.

So at school they had a reading contest. There were papers sent home with a part that you trimmed off each week and turned in at school to track your reading minutes.

Those who read, and returned their papers got to go to an assembly. Those who didn't...didn't.

My children didn't get to go. Two of them lost their papers all together. The other left his sitting on the kitchen table.

They all came home, and they were all angry, and they all told me it was all my fault.

I had to remind them that it was no one's fault but their own. They knew the rules, and they knew what had to be done to earn the assembly. They chose not to hold up their end of the bargain so it was no one's fault, but their own, that they didn't get to go.

And it took everything I had in me not to badger them to put their things in their backpacks, not to remind them to turn them in more than once, and not to take it to school for them when I saw that they had forgotten.

It was a hard lesson for all of us, but I hope one that had an ultimate result and that from here on, my children will try to be a little more responsible for themselves. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm hopeful.


The Yeates said...

if you keep doing it it will work .. better now than trying this when they are teenagers... which is when I finally got a clue

The Yeates said...

ps can I get on the list for your other blog dyeates@comcast.net

Jennifer said...

Good for you!! Its really hard stepping back when you're always the one making sure everything gets done. My husband never wakes up when his alarm goes off, so I always spend 20 minutes each morning trying to wake him up. Well, I decided to stop, and guess what? He overslept by an hour! Ha! Now he gets up on his own :)

Liz said...

As a teacher my hat is off to you. VERY often I get parents making excuses and asking me to bend the rules so their child can do something. "She was just one day late," or "She just has to read another 20 pages." Good for you to help them learn these lessons when they are young!

Shanae said...

I feel for you! Hopefully they'll remember this lesson! Good job!

Patricia said...

I'm proud of you! I have six children. Five of them are adults. I think you did the right thing. Keep up the good work. Love, Tricia