Friday, September 12, 2008

Devastated

I am absolutely sick at heart and devestated. I have lost Lucey's ring.

A couple years after Lucey died, B gave me a ring with her birthstone for Christmas. I have worn this ring on my right hand every single day since then and I have always considered it my way of keeping her close to me, a reminder every time I see it of my little angel.

We were shopping today, trying to find some new shoes for my son K. I looked down at my hand for some reason and noticed with a shock that it was bare. I couldn't figure it out, my wedding ring and Lucey's ring are allways together, I take them off and set them on my night stand at night and put them back on at the same time in the morning. I never have one without the other and all of the sudden, there I stood with my right finger naked and I can't for the life of me figure out where my ring is. For an instant I thought maybe I had forgotten to put them on, but no, I had my wedding ring on. I know I had to have put it on because it is habit, first one, then the other, I would have noticed if there had only been one.

But I kept that hope alive in my head that when I got home, it would be sitting there. I have searched my entire house and it's not here. I am sick, I feel like I am going to throw up. I feel like an invisible chord inside of me has been yanked and I am fighting to breathe.

I can't even begin to convey what this ring means to me. As bad as it sounds, I would rather have lost my wedding ring than Lucey's ring.

I can't believe this has happened. There is no way I can ever replace it. I am devestated and so very sad right now.

2 comments:

Candice said...

Dang! I'm sorry! I hope you find it soon!!

Heidi said...

Jeanette, I'm so very sorry. :( I hope that maybe somewhere it will turn up when you least expect it. My mom once lost her silver charm bracelet. It had charms she was given as a child and was VERY precious to her. She looked and looked for months and never could find it. Well, she was going through some old purses to get ready to give to DI and she found it!! The purse had a hole in the lining and the bracelet had slipped inside the hole. I'm sure she had resigned herself to never seeing the bracelet again, and it was truly a blessing for her to find it again. I hope maybe a similar happy surprise is in store for your beautiful ring!