Devastated

I am absolutely sick at heart and devestated. I have lost Lucey's ring.

A couple years after Lucey died, B gave me a ring with her birthstone for Christmas. I have worn this ring on my right hand every single day since then and I have always considered it my way of keeping her close to me, a reminder every time I see it of my little angel.

We were shopping today, trying to find some new shoes for my son K. I looked down at my hand for some reason and noticed with a shock that it was bare. I couldn't figure it out, my wedding ring and Lucey's ring are allways together, I take them off and set them on my night stand at night and put them back on at the same time in the morning. I never have one without the other and all of the sudden, there I stood with my right finger naked and I can't for the life of me figure out where my ring is. For an instant I thought maybe I had forgotten to put them on, but no, I had my wedding ring on. I know I had to have put it on because it is habit, first one, then the other, I would have noticed if there had only been one.

But I kept that hope alive in my head that when I got home, it would be sitting there. I have searched my entire house and it's not here. I am sick, I feel like I am going to throw up. I feel like an invisible chord inside of me has been yanked and I am fighting to breathe.

I can't even begin to convey what this ring means to me. As bad as it sounds, I would rather have lost my wedding ring than Lucey's ring.

I can't believe this has happened. There is no way I can ever replace it. I am devestated and so very sad right now.