Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Feeling Guilty

I have tried several times over the past week to update my blog but the truth is, I feel guilty.

Guilty that my life is plugging along just like it always does, and I have been oblivious to life outside my own front door. It's easy to go on with ourselves and forget that somewhere, maybe even next door, people are suffering, mourning, fighting for their lives.

I feel guilty that I get so wrapped up in my own mundane existence when other's out there are in a struggle for survival.

I feel guilty that I take my mundane existence for granted. Guilty that I simply assume that mundane is how every one's life is. Guilty for forgetting the suffering of others.

Every night in my prayers I ask God to bless the hearts that mourn and the souls that suffer, but it has become a habit, when I say these things, I don't really THINK about the mourning and suffering people out there.

Until recently that is. When mourning and suffering touch close to home you suddenly realise the reality that people are living out there.

Somewhere out there, today this very day, a mother will bury her child, a wife will mourn her lost husband, a child will become gravely ill, a family is stealing food just to stay alive, a man will commit a crime to feed an addiction that has consumed him and given him no other choice. A family will suffer violence at the hands of a government. Accidents will cost lives. This happens EVERY DAY and somehow I forget that. I forget that because of the distance, it's not happening to me therefor it is an abstract thought that doesn't really come in to focus.

My goal is to be more fervent in my prayers, to do something to give comfort and create change. To be less oblivious to the world around me.

To be grateful to the depths of my soul for a mundane life.


VanC said...

I think we all have moments when we schlep thru life and focus on the me rather than the we. Thanks for letting us inside your thoughtd once in awhile and giving us the push needed to hold the mirror up to ourselves. Have I ever told you how much you've helped me in the last year? If I haven't I apoligize. Thanks for lifting me up. (((HUGS))))

em's scrapbag said...

It's so easy to get caught up in our own little world. You are doing good to recognize what you have done and try and change. Good job! You are making a difference! Just keep trying.

Robyn said...

So funny that last night I decided the same things. My prayers need to be more fervent as well. I have close, close friends that need help and I've promised to pray for them and then I just sometimes mention their names. I don't stop and think about them specifically and think about their needs. Thanks for being a good example.